What does Jills Transaction Coordinator Really Do (LA 1324)
What does Jills Transaction Coordinator Really Do (LA 1324)
Transcript:
Steven Butala:
Steve and Jill here.
Jill DeWit:
Hi.
Steven Butala:
Welcome to the Land Academy Show entertaining land investment talk. I’m Steven Jack Butala.
Jill DeWit:
And I’m Jill DeWit, broadcasting from sunny Southern California.
Steven Butala:
Today, Jill and I talk about what does Jill’s transaction coordinator really do? I can’t wait to hear the answer to this big picture, and hopefully detailed picture.
Jill DeWit:
Oh my goodness.
Steven Butala:
Because I’ve always wondered this, too. No. And all kidding aside, this is one of the most important positions that you can ever hire for, and it’s a position that I’ve had for years in my own company. Jill’s had it in her own company.
Jill DeWit:
Like you held the position? Is that what you’re saying?
Steven Butala:
Oh yeah.
Jill DeWit:
Okay, thank you.
Steven Butala:
And even now we have to jump back in if there’s too much deal flow. And we’re all transaction coordinators until the end.
Jill DeWit:
I just took a call with a broker as a matter of fact.
Steven Butala:
I know. I just I caught the tail of that because we’re setting up to record, and I bet that that’s a perfect way to talk about this when we get into it.
Jill DeWit:
The main point here is that this came up because of a Facebook post. Someone was asking me like, “Jill, I’m hiring.” You have talked about in the past what the trials and tribulations of hiring the right person. Okay, that’s great. We got that. Now, what exactly do they do?
And as I was writing this Facebook post, and I’ll share more when we get into the show, I had a little revelation that I should have a thank you to them. So as I’m writing this, I’m sending my number one gal a heartfelt thank you because I realized, “You wear a lot of hats, and I really appreciate all that you do.” And I sincerely was making sure, “Are you happy? Do you need anything? What’s going on in your world?” It was good.
Steven Butala:
Before we get into it though, let’s take a question posted by one of our members on the landinvestors.com online community. It’s free.
Jill DeWit:
Greg asked, “Most of my deals have been self close, and I like that because, number one, it’s cheap. Number two, it’s fast. Number three, I’m in control in the process.”
Steven Butala:
Amen.
Jill DeWit:
“I read the guidelines about dollar value and using title for higher dollar properties. Some people want title insurance, or just a closer title because it makes them feel better. And some are okay with just wiring thousands of dollars, and skipping the costs and the time.”
“So, my question is can I buy with a self close? Because I like that. And then sell, either sell to close or through title, depending on what the buyer wants or needs. Is there something wrong with this? I did this on one deal already with zero trouble, but my impression was that this was frowned upon or not even possible in some places. Any thoughts on this?”
I’d say I have thoughts.
Steven Butala:
I have a lot of thoughts, too. Jill’s closer to front lines than I am, so go ahead.
Jill DeWit:
I thought you were going to say closer to the mic at that moment. “Jill’s closer to the line of fire at that moment right now.” No.
I love this. I see nothing wrong with this, and I do this all the time as well. Especially, I find myself doing this when there’s some really good deals that you just can’t let them get away real quick. You can buy and self close, and even get title insurance after the fact. So, there’s lots of different scenarios.
Let me back up and explain this here. What is self close? That is like buying a car without a dealer. It’s like me going on Offer Up or Craigslist, buying the car from you, Jack, and getting my insurance, and doing the paperwork with the DMV, and all that stuff there.
Steven Butala:
This is a great way to explain this.
Jill DeWit:
Thank you. Because that’s exactly what it is. I buy it, you sign the paper to me. Nobody knows it. The DMV doesn’t know it yet. My insurance company doesn’t know it yet. I just hand you $5,000, you hand me pink slip, I walk away. Same thing.
Now after the fact, I’m going to go and go to the DMV, I’m going to put it in my name, I’m going to let my insurance company know. Make it all official. So, that’s kind of like a self close is I buy a property like that. I’m going to most of the time I’m preparing the deed, I’m sending a notary with a cashier’s check, I buy it from the seller, the seller signs it, walks with his cashier’s check. It’s easy, it’s fast. And then later on, then I go and get it recorded with the county. If I want to take a step further, I can also get title insurance after that.
Usually, and this is all a personal preference by the way, usually what I do then is, depending on the property and what I’m marketing it for, and I like your way. I like your thoughts here, Greg. I’m just going to answer your question. I love what you’re doing. I like your idea, and your thoughts are just making it optional to your buyer.
Here’s a scoop, if you want me to just pass it on to you, I sure can make it fast and easy. We don’t have to pay for this. Because typically, too, all you’re going to do is camp on it, and fish on it, and love it, and you’re not going to build on it. So, we all know the chances of needing title insurance are not great because you’re not going to take a loan on it, or things like that. That’s why people would want title insurance. And I love your thing, and let’s just make it optional.
What would you like to add?
Steven Butala:
Back when there were cowboys, this is the only way you ever did a deal. This advent of title insurance, and escrow, and all that stuff was people getting in the way. There’s a long history of people in this country wanting to get their hands in your real estate deal, and this is just another example.
So here, you can do this anytime you want. I’ve done it with $100,000 properties without any issues. But I’ll tell you it can catch up with you because what you’re doing technically in some people’s minds is creating a cloud in the chain of title.
So, people believe, especially with more expensive property, that you need title insurance. It’s a big debate, and I don’t know. I bought property just like this, exactly like you’re saying, and then I’ve sold it through the escrow process. Rightfully so. People, maybe they want to build on it. There’s a lot of reasons for that. They’re all legit actually. The correct escrow agent when you go to sell it will require affidavits and things like that.
For me, the person who bought it without title insurance, without escrow, and most of the time, probably eight times out of 10, you sign this stuff, you send it back in, everybody’s happy. And they go get title insurance, and everything’s done. There are old school escrow agents that won’t allow this.
So if that happens, if you buy a piece of property for five or 10 grand, and then you go to sell it for 40, buyer wants title insurance. And you go to a title agent and they say, “No way, this is not how we do it,” go to another title agent.
Jill DeWit:
Not to cloud the conversation … We’re talking about clouds here a lot. I would like to add that we have had title agents come to us down the road when we have … Say I bought, I’ve self purchased, self closed on the buy side-
Steven Butala:
Years down the road.
Jill DeWit:
Uh-huh (affirmative). And self close on the sell side. And then somewhere down the road, someone’s getting title insurance. Does it negate everything? Does it mean that none of this was legit? Absolutely not. All that they’ve said is, “Hey, I just need you to sign this paperwork for my file.” That that’s how the transaction went down. Done.
Steven Butala:
Later this week, I’m going to talk about the four types of real estate companies you can create through land. And one of them is inexpensive, desert type property, or very, very rural, inexpensive property. And if you choose that type of a business to be in, and a lot of people do, that’s how I started, you do every single deal this way. You buy it and sell it this way, and nobody talks about it.
If you choose to do infill lots that you know, and you’re targeting your buyer’s a developer who’s going to build a house on it, then why go through the hassle? You should close every single deal with title insurance and an escrow agent.
So, it’s really the product type that yields this. That didn’t get discussed here. It’s the product type that yields this type of decision.
Jill DeWit:
I agree.
Steven Butala:
Thank God. I was worried.
Jill DeWit:
One of us has to stop. Pull the plug, pull the plug.
Steven Butala:
What do you mean?
Jill DeWit:
Like we could talk about this for a very long time. That’s my whole point. And then, never get to the show.
Steven Butala:
Today’s topic, what does Jill’s transaction coordinator really do? This is the meat of the show.
Jill DeWit:
You know what’s funny? With a title like that, and the way that it’s worded almost sounds like, “What does she do?” She’s just painting her nails all day, maybe answering a few phone calls, that kind of a thing. That is not the case at all. And I’m really happy to share this.
This, again, I was saying came to me, and I apologize I can’t remember your name. I will look it up later, and let you know we did the show on this, but you probably listened. Came to me in our Facebook group, it’s Real Estate Investing Land Academy is what it’s called, in parenthesis. And they said, “Hey Jill. You talk about the trial,” like I said, “the trials and tribulations what’s involved, and how hard it has been. It’s taken you five years to find the right person to be your transaction coordinator, your lead transaction coordinator. What do they do?”
So, this is a rather long list. I will try not to get into great detail.
Steven Butala:
Why? I think we should totally get into detail.
Jill DeWit:
Okay. Well then, you can ask the questions.
Steven Butala:
People are here.
Jill DeWit:
Okay.
Steven Butala:
People are here to learn about real estate.
Jill DeWit:
Okay.
Steven Butala:
I think you should get in as much detail as you’d like.
Jill DeWit:
Okay. So, the number one person is responsible for many things. And when they’re starting out, they’re doing all of those things. As time goes on, they outsource some of the roles, but I’m going to give you the whole thing.
So in the beginning, my number one person was responsible for first fielding all the inbound calls from all the offers that we sent out. There was no negotiating. That was a really good question that somebody brought up in Facebook. Do they negotiate these deals? No, they don’t. They are just to collect the information, smooth talk them, try to get all the purchase agreements they can in, let everybody know who we are, make them feel good about when to sell to us. And then, put it in the system, we currently use Airtable, and then alert me that I have deals to review.
From there, I go in and look at the deals. And I’m going to either greenlight it right away. You do this, too. This is not just me obviously. But now, you have been working on other projects a little bit more, but I’m going to use me as an example. And when I say me, it’s often us.
Steven Butala:
No, you can say me. I mean, you can say you.
Jill DeWit:
Okay.
Steven Butala:
I did it for years and years. This is just making a decision on it. I love the deal, I hate to deal, or more often what happens is …
Jill DeWit:
I have questions.
Steven Butala:
Well yeah, I have questions, or I love it at 30,000, not at 40.
Jill DeWit:
Right. And we’ll get to that, too, in a minute. Because I don’t have my people doing that yet, because that’s really different talent. And what she does is already a lot.
Okay. So, the deal comes to me, it’s a signed purchase agreement, I look at it, I love it, I hate it, or I have questions. And that’s what I tell her. I love it, do it. So, these are the three things. I love it, do it, open escrow, let’s go.
And she then from there, I’ll do each one individually, from there will take it all the way through. She will open escrow. If I don’t have an escrow agent in that particular area or state, she will make the phone calls and find one, and source one, and handles everything to do with the escrow except for when it comes to wiring the money and signing the documents. She’s that good.
She has an escrow background. She is on team Jack and Jill, so she always looks for us and makes sure that the numbers are correct. That’s an important piece there. You don’t want a transaction coordinator is just going to blindly accept whatever escrow sends to them. You need someone on your team that says, “That number’s not right. We did one two times ago, and why are you charging me double this time for the situation?” And usually it’s an oops, and you just need someone that’s going to catch those things.
So, she follows it all the way through. She maintains contact with the seller and escrow, and make sure that it’s going to close, makes sure everybody’s on the same page, makes sure everybody’s getting what they need, and I just have to pretty much show up and sign. And as a side note, she’s also a notary. So, she’s my in-house notary, so that takes a lot of the work out and the timing out. We just arrange when we’re going to be in the same time and the place to sign. So, that’s situation number one on the buy side.
Number two, she … Am I going into too much detail, or are you liking this?
Steven Butala:
No, I love this.
Jill DeWit:
Okay.
Steven Butala:
I’m actually taking notes. Because there’s some changes that I want to make in some stuff that I’m doing. That’s the truth of it.
Jill DeWit:
Okay. So then, the second one is I hate it. Doesn’t matter what price it is, we’re walking. And usually it’s because of access, or there’s some fatal flaw. It really is not only can we not get to it, there’s a locked gate at the top, there’s a locked gate at the bottom, and it’s a side of a cliff, and the slope is 80%.
I’m not into mountain climbing property. I think this is great for somebody who might be. My time is too valuable right now, our time. We don’t do rock climber properties. And what’s funny is once upon a time we would. I would take darn near any property for the right price. Because that would solve whatever the flaw was. Nowadays, we don’t.
So, I’d just send a nice note back, and we communicate all this. We use Airtable. We’re not even talking. It’s not like we’re even having meetings. I go in, I look at it, I leave a note back for her saying, “Not going to happen. Here’s the reason why. Thank you very much.” And she updates our file, it moves it off my list for both of us, and that’s it.
And then, the third scenario is I have questions. And it could be things like, “Hmm, I see it. I’ve done all my work. I’m on the fence right here. Price wise. Can I get a couple brokers’ opinions?” And she will do that for me. She knows how to go in the area, make some calls, get a couple broker opinions, and that will help me with the decision.
Or I’ll come back with, “I’m not sure it’s buildable. I see this lot. It’s a pretty small lot. I’m looking what the neighbors are doing. I’m not sure if the setback will work here. Can you make a couple call? Find out what the zoning is, what’s possible? Is it buildable? Things like that.”
And then, there’s other scenarios like access. I might even have one where, “Gosh, we can all see that there’s legal access. That’s obvious. We can tell there’s a road there. I can’t really tell if there’s legal access. At the price I’m doing this property, I want both.” So, I’ll send her a note. And then, she’ll go in and solve these.
And it’s either she’ll make the calls. It’s either communicating with the seller sometimes, communicating with the county sometimes, or both. And then, she’ll leave in the notes, and then I make a decision. So, that’s pretty much everything. And then of course based on that, we open escrow, she does our usual, and now we own it.
Her job’s not done yet. Do you have any questions on the buy side, or do you want me to keep going?
Steven Butala:
I think you should keep going.
Jill DeWit:
Okay. One of the things, too, that she does, I want to give a good little tip for people in my world, which is all of you, is there’s things thrown on the process that she alerts my sales team. I have a separate team that does the posting, and the pictures, and things like that. One of the things that she does is alerts them at a certain point. Usually for me it’s like 10 days into escrow, right? We’ve been tweaking that right now, but right now that’s our number.
When we’ve been in escrow 10 days, we’re all feeling great about this deal, we know we’re buying it. This is most of my escrow transactions right now. She’s alerting my team, “Get the photographer out there and get a drone shot.” So, that way they’re ready. It takes them a couple days to get that scheduled, done, and back, and they’re starting to build out the posting.
The goal here is when I close escrow on the buy side, the posting’s beautiful, written, ready to go, push a button, get it sold everyone. And sometimes it happens really fast.
So now, we’re on the sell side. So, next thing you know we have a buyer. My sales team communicates directly with my transaction coordinator that, “I’ve got a buyer. It’s a price we all want.” If it’s not the price we all want, they’re going to tell her, “We have a buyer. Here’s their offer,” and she’ll let me know. It’ll go into our system, right into Airtable. She will alert me to look at it. “Here’s the offer. What do you think?” I’m a yay or nay, and then it’s handled.
And then, often it’s a yay let’s just say. It’s within reason. We all know there’s little nuances there, but her job is to communicate, keep that going. I never really talk to the seller or the buyer. And then from there, she reopens escrow usually with the same company that I buy it from, we make a point to do that because it’s always faster, and easier, and cheaper, and she follows it all the way through. And the only thing I have to do, again, is show up and sign.
You like that?
Steven Butala:
Yeah. Here’s some helpful hints about transaction coordinators that I’ve learned over 25 years of doing this. I’ve had, I don’t know. I can’t even count the number of transaction coordinators that I’ve had. Including starting with myself as a one person show. I’ve never had a transaction coordinator who was a male that worked out. This is a very detail-oriented position. There’s a lot of paperwork involved.
And the perfect deal would go like this, just like Jill said, the deal comes in, purchase screen comes in, all the information gets input, Jill spends, I don’t know, 30 seconds looking at all the information in the CRM, decides that it’s a good deal. This is a perfect deal now. Decides that it’s a good deal and says, “Yes, let’s buy it.” You don’t hear from the transaction coordinator. Nobody discusses it. There’s no talking at all.
It gets purchased. Jill signs everything. Hopefully online these days. And then, all the stuff that is involved in selling it, and getting it online, and making it available to the public is done. We still don’t hear anything. Jill approves it, or maybe at this point probably doesn’t approve it because there’s a level of trust established if they’ve worked here long enough. And at the point where it gets sold, you sign everything, or you just approve the price.
So, if you’re doing everything right, and you really have a Jedi scenario with your transaction coordinator, your involvement in a real estate transaction is less than 30 minutes, from start to finish.
Jill DeWit:
True. That’s perfect.
Steven Butala:
And that does not include counting the money. Because that’s what they’re there for. Let’s all be straight about this. It’s true time. She’s there or he’s there. No, hopefully she is there to make you money. That’s it.
Jill DeWit:
You’re 100% correct on that male/female thing. It’s funny.
Steven Butala:
So number two, I have never had a transaction coordinator who has worked out in the long run who hasn’t been an escrow agent in a past life. That mentality, so if it’s time for you to go find a transaction coordinator, look in the pool of disgruntled. There’s a ton. Hey look, escrow agents are grossly underpaid for what they do, and grossly overworked. And so, the one that Jill has right now is elated.
Jill DeWit:
Here’s what you do, go to the Facebook group called Disgruntled Former Escrow Agents.
Steven Butala:
There’s a lot.
Jill DeWit:
There’s thousands of them. And find the one that you connect with the best.
Steven Butala:
So, here’s the thing though, again, truth time, not a lot of them worked independently. So, a lot of escrow agents choose that role because they’re in an office with other people just like them, and they actually enjoy that. They have a supervisor. When some stuff goes sideways, they can check with their peers, they can check with the sup. You don’t want that type of person. You want a total self-starting free-thinking, can manage their time all day type of personality.
So, I can’t express this enough, this is a really tough position to fill. And once you fill it, your net income should times four. And then hopefully, they’re good enough to start getting people under them so they can start shoving off. I’ve had-
Jill DeWit:
That’s the point.
Steven Butala:
I’ve had two, not this one yet, but she will get there, where they’ve come to me daily and saying, “Hey, I’m too busy. I can’t do the process paperwork part of this. I can do the phone part.” Phone part’s really important, in my opinion. Because it’s basically replacing you with the seller. And there’s a sales component to this, and a huge paperwork organization component, and those two things usually don’t come with one personality. They do with Jill, and honestly they do with me. I can get through it, it’s just not very fun.
Jill DeWit:
Yeah. I was going to say to you a couple things. We have it down so well, and we started out that way. You’re going to know pretty early on. You’re going to click, or you won’t. And this individual and I have it down so well that I feel bad that we don’t talk. We will go for days without speaking. And so, sometimes I just call her to say hi because I feel bad. It’s so funny.
And it’s interesting, because she has always worked in an office, and when the COVID came, she had been wanting to work remotely and from home anyway. So, it was a perfect fit for me and for her. And I love it. It’s just the funniest thing though. I feel bad sometimes. I’m like, “Are you lonely? Can I send you some lunch or some treats? I know you’re working hard over there.” It’s cute.
Steven Butala:
Yeah. And the perfect candidate’s going to be a little bit smarter than you about deals. Not about mailers, not about running a company, but a little bit smarter while reading a HUD one or closing statement at the end, and saying, “This doesn’t look right, and we really should take a look at it and see why.” And that’s the kind of person you want.
Jill DeWit:
Excellent. And that’s what she’s got because she is a former escrow agent. She knows the lingo. That’s the part that got me. She taught me things like escrow agents all have a secret phone number. Not kidding. I didn’t know that.
Steven Butala:
Oh, really?
Jill DeWit:
I did not know that.
Steven Butala:
Well, tell us about that. That’s what this show’s about.
Jill DeWit:
I’ll tell you right now.
Steven Butala:
I’m learning stuff.
Jill DeWit:
Look, here I go.
Steven Butala:
Hold on, I’m writing this down.
Jill DeWit:
Every escrow agent has a secret bat line that they do not share with anyone.
Steven Butala:
This is a show, Jill.
Jill DeWit:
A very few people. And she told me one time, she said, “Don’t worry about it. I got Marsha’s bat line.” I’m like, “What the heck?” I came up with the bat line, she just called it secret phone number. I’m like, “This is awesome.”
Steven Butala:
What do you have to do to get that phone number? Do you have to be like in the club?
Jill DeWit:
You have to befriend them. Yeah, and be in the club. And here’s another tip. One time, this is like one time at band camp. That’s what it sounds like.
Steven Butala:
Band camp?
Jill DeWit:
Sort of sounds like. All right, one time, and if you know me, I try very hard to be sweet, and I’m always going to go at things a sweet way. But there are times I get pushed over the edge, and I get mad. Well, I have gotten mad at escrow agents before, and it’s really because they’re not paying attention to detail. And after the first time, I’m okay. Second time, maybe. Third time, now it’s stupid. Fourth time, now I’m pissed when they’re making the same mistake over and over again. Because they’re just frazzled and they have too much going on is usually what happens.
So, we had to go back one time. We went back to a former escrow agent that we were never going to use again, but we were forced to because it was the only way I can get the deal done quickly, because they had done it on the buy side. And I knew it going into it. And it was so funny because my transaction coordinator had to tell the other person that they promise that I would not get on the phone and I would not yell at them.
Steven Butala:
You know how many times somebody said that to me in my life? If you were involved in this, it’s not going to work.
Jill DeWit:
I’m like, “I won’t call them. I won’t call them. I promise, I promise.” And then, my transaction coordinator was going along. Everything’s sweet until the end. And guess what? The same agent pulled it with my person. And my person said, “Jill, you’re right. Now I’m doing it.” It was so funny. Anyway …
Steven Butala:
I had a music teacher a long time ago tell us that. If you make a mistake two or three times, now you’re practicing it, and it’s 10 times as hard to undo that. Doing it right the first time when it’s something that’s mechanical is you have to do it that way. I’m not saying don’t fail or make mistakes, I’m just saying all it takes is five extra seconds to really just look at it. And then, you got to undo it and un-practice it. It’s terrible. It’s like sanding against the grain.
Jill DeWit:
Do you know that’s my love language?
Steven Butala:
No, let’s talk about this. I’d love to know more about this.
Jill DeWit:
My love language is this. “Jill, I made sure to the best of my ability this is perfect. Here you go.” That’s my love language. Not, “Eh, I threw it together. Here you go.” And correcting your work.
Steven Butala:
Yeah. Which is like that’s what men do.
Jill DeWit:
Thank you.
Steven Butala:
Men slap stuff together and say, “Please figure it out.”
Jill DeWit:
That’s why I’m using this podcast right now as an opportunity to let you know that really is my love language. FYI. [crosstalk 00:26:27] “Hey, men everywhere, try this. See how well this does.”
Steven Butala:
Give us an example of what you mentioned here.
Jill DeWit:
I’ll give you an example. let me think here. You’re going to help out with travel arrangements, and you know how picky your wife is about seating and flight schedules. She doesn’t want to do it. She never wants a 6:00 AM flight, and she never wants a middle seat. That’s important to her. And she has a lot on her plate, so you’re going to take over the family vacation travel arrangements.
Take it to the extra level. Make it a 10:00 AM flight, make it the right days so we can get the right seating arrangements. Make sure if there’s a layover, [inaudible 00:00:27:17]. The things that you know that she appreciates. And maybe even, if you really want to take it to the next level, get her into the American Express Platinum club, pay for the one day membership, make it really sweet. Maybe just for her there’s an extra thing. You and the kids can go get some food, and let her go have a glass of wine if you really want this to go swell. That’s an example of take that extra little step.
Steven Butala:
What if she’s a real angry person, and never going to appreciate anything like that?
Jill DeWit:
She’ll be drunk!
Steven Butala:
Because that’s what half the men on this-
Jill DeWit:
Get her drunk.
Steven Butala:
… half the men listening to this are saying, “Yeah, I’d do that, but she’s just an angry person.”
Jill DeWit:
Aww. I have a hard time being mad when you’re drinking wine.
Steven Butala:
You’re right. You got to have some positive outcome, direct positive outcome for doing stuff like that.
Jill DeWit:
There we go. That’s even another one.
Steven Butala:
[crosstalk 00:28:08] Here, now I’m speaking to the women. If somebody’s bright enough to do this for you, there has to be an almost immediate, this is how men are, an almost immediate positive outcome.
Jill DeWit:
That’s not wrong.
Steven Butala:
A lot of people will take this type of favor or a positive thing, and just say, “Well, you should be doing this every single time.” More often than not instead of a big, huge hug, saying, “Oh my God, you’re the greatest guy in the world, and thank you so much. I will return the favor sometime on the trip.”
Jill DeWit:
It’s very hard for women to know when men are really going out of their comfort zone or no unless you tell us. I’ll be really honest. If you say, “This is not how I roll, I hate to say it.” So, maybe this is something you have to learn. This is sounding like Jack and Jill counseling hour.
Steven Butala:
Yes. Well, it sounds like the Jack and Jill Show.
Jill DeWit:
Went from transaction coordinator to couples counseling. It’s hard.
Steven Butala:
Somebody said in a YouTube comment recently, “You’re an inspiration to couples everywhere,” and I didn’t say anything, but I’m like, “Wow. If you actually really knew what the Jack and Jill show is really going to cover. I hope they can retract that someday.” Anyway, go ahead.
Jill DeWit:
Thanks. It’s hard for us to know, because it comes naturally to us as moms, and wives, and such. We want to give, spend the extra time, cut your sandwich. I’m not kidding. Put a pickle on your plate. At least that’s how I was raised. I want to do that, and it’s natural to me.
Steven Butala:
Sweetheart-
Jill DeWit:
If you do that to me, I would go, “Yippee Ki Yay!”
Steven Butala:
… you are the exception to all of this, and I’m not trying to [inaudible 00:29:57] you here. You’re not the first woman I’ve ever gone down any path with in any way. You’re the last one in fact. And the vast majority, if not every single other one, is not cutting sandwiches and feeling good about it. What they are is cutting the sandwich, saying, “I really, really wish I was at a fashion show, or in a spa instead of this. This is ridiculous. I do most of the work. He doesn’t do anything.” And just paying the bills is long not enough. I hate to break it to you.
Jill DeWit:
All right. It’s better than what I thought you were going to say. As I’m cutting the sandwich, I’m like, “I’ll give you your flipping sandwich.”
Steven Butala:
Yeah. Oh no, that’s about it. I was softening it. That’s actually really accurate.
Jill DeWit:
You want to see me with the knife? If I put a sharp object in my hand later on … If I were you, I would hide all these knives.
Steven Butala:
So, my question is, and it won’t get answered here, how do you come back from that? How do you know, I’m speaking on behalf of men now, how do you know if that’s a personality flaw that how this person has behaved like this for so long that that first class seat, or the American Express lounge thing, it’s not going to be welcomed the way, it’s not going to be responded to the way it should.
Or you know what? I’ll tell them what’s going to happen, too. This doesn’t happen with us ever. She’s going to say, “Why are you spending money on this?” Because all their money’s commingled. That’s going to happen. Vast majority of the time. “Why didn’t you ask me to do this?”
Jill DeWit:
I know. Here’s the thing, as a woman …
Steven Butala:
Hey listener, this shows twice as long. I’m actually having a family meeting right now, and you can either listen or not.
Jill DeWit:
I can only speak for myself and my inner circle of friends when I say this …
Steven Butala:
I can’t wait to hear this.
Jill DeWit:
Seriously, I am confused because I don’t like those women also. So, that’s the reality. I know some of the women of which you speak. I know some of the women of which you have been married to before. I too have experienced these situations, and this hurt, and the darkness, and the blackness that comes through.
Steven Butala:
The seeping blackness.
Jill DeWit:
I get it. My only point here is give a girl a chance.
Steven Butala:
Okay. That’s fair.
Jill DeWit:
Thank you.
Steven Butala:
That’s absolutely fair, Jill.
Jill DeWit:
And then, make a decision.
Steven Butala:
The only way to come back from that darkness is hit a restart button. And everybody’s got to do it at the same time.
You know what I think’s real tragic? Because I think that a lot of people define their relationship by its worst moment. Everybody’s got bad moments, bad days. Stuff happens. I don’t care if it’s at work, or if, God forbid, you work with your spouse like I do …
Jill DeWit:
God forbid. Thanks a lot. That’s loving.
Steven Butala:
… some stuff happens. Stuff happens. I’ll tell you, if I walked around or Jill walked around, and consciously or subconsciously I have defined our relationship by the three worst moments that there ever was, it would be a mess. Instead, I’m not saying get all hocus pocus, self-help-ish here, and only look at the good times, not the bad times. If you know anything about me and this show, that’s just not the case at all. I’d rather look at the worst time.
But in a relationship, that’s just not appropriate. You got to just look at the whole thing and say, “You know what? We’re all on the same page, going in the same direction. And she deserves first class.” And maybe, you know what? Maybe you won’t get a thank you, but it’ll be one step in the right direction. And I really mean that.
Jill DeWit:
I don’t want to change anything. That was beautiful. Thank you.
Steven Butala:
Close this Jill.
Jill DeWit:
Happy you could join us today. Five days a week, you can find this right here on the Land Academy Show.
Steven Butala:
Tomorrow, the episode on the Land Academy Show is called Does Deal Review Happen Before or After a Seller Commits or Signs a Purchase Agreement? You are not alone in your real estate ambition.
Jill DeWit:
Okay, that was fun.
Steven Butala:
Wow.
Jill DeWit:
Thank you for letting us use this time to better our relationship, and we hope that you, too, will better your relationship, and find a deeper, loving understanding. Could you imagine if I was really like that?
I’m sorry. I got to tell you. Look, I’ve been doing a lot of research lately, and listening to a lot of other shows, and some people go down that path.
Steven Butala:
I know.
Jill DeWit:
It’s so interesting to me. I’m having a hard time-
Steven Butala:
The variants of podcasts.
Jill DeWit:
I would really love to hear-
Steven Butala:
So would I.
Jill DeWit:
… you friend, listener, I would love to hear your feedback. Because I’m torn. We clearly are unscripted. It’s a conversation. We have a goal, a shiny goal for our topic. We don’t always hit it, but we have a goal, and yet-
Steven Butala:
We shoot at it.
Jill DeWit:
We do-
Steven Butala:
And we miss.
Jill DeWit:
And we miss. But some shows are … What they talk about is so different obviously, and some of it’s just you can tell it’s written and scripted, and the right person though, it’s delivered beautifully.
So, I am torn. I’m looking at doing other shows and things, and I would love to know if you like this crazy, free-flowing format, or if you’d like a little more scripted. I hope I’m not stepping on your toes asking for that.
Steven Butala:
No, not at all.
Jill DeWit:
Okay.
Steven Butala:
Not one bit. I have listened to a lot of different podcasts also, and what I concluded, and I did stop listening to them, is people know what they like when they hear it.
Jill DeWit:
True. True. Thank you for tuning in. We hope you find our content valuable, and we appreciate your support.
If you haven’t already, please check out our YouTube channel and hit the subscribe button.
Steven Butala:
And your comments and suggestions help us to create the type of content you’re here for. Hitting the like button helps us support our channel’s algorithm, and engage your interest for future shows.
We are Steve and Jill. Information …
Jill DeWit:
… and inspiration …
Steven Butala:
… to buy undervalued property. And marital advice.
—————————————-
If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me directly at steven@BuWit.com.
The BuWit Family of Companies include:
I would like to think it’s entertaining and informative and in the end profitable.
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