Jill Friday and Her Take on Relationships (LA 1468)

Jill Friday and Her Take on Relationships (LA 1468)

Transcript:

Steven Butala:
Steve and Jill here.

Jill DeWit:
Hello.

Steven Butala:
Welcome to the Land Academy Show, entertaining land investment talk. I’m Steven Jack Butala.

Jill DeWit:
And I’m Jill DeWit, coming to you from awesome Scottsdale, Arizona.

Steven Butala:
Today, Jill and I talk about it’s Jill Friday, and her take on all types of relationships. Are you looking forward to this, or are you dreading it?

Jill DeWit:
No, are you kidding? I love talking about this stuff.

Steven Butala:
She loves this topic.

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
Just actually thinking about it.

Jill DeWit:
It’s important. I am write… I’m going to do it. I’m going to write a book series on these things, and I will tell you how it’s going to come out. It’s good.

Steven Butala:
Before we get into it, let’s take a question posted by one of our members on the LandInvestors.com online community. It’s free, and if you are already a Land Academy member, join us on Discord.

Jill DeWit:
Can you imagine? If I didn’t like talking about relationships, I’d be pretty sucky in relationships.

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill DeWit:
But like talking in general. It’s kind of funny.

Steven Butala:
Yeah, it’s something that you always improve on. Like I’m always trying to be better in any relationship that I have. I’m always trying to improve.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you.

Steven Butala:
Is that obvious?

Jill DeWit:
It is obvious.

Steven Butala:
Is it really?

Jill DeWit:
It’s appreciated. It is.

Steven Butala:
That’s good. I didn’t know it was obvious.

Jill DeWit:
Totally. All right. Johanes wrote, “Learning. If you want… ” Lost my question here.

Steven Butala:
Sorry.

Jill DeWit:
Sorry.

Steven Butala:
That was me.

Jill DeWit:
Okay. I guess it’s like, “I’m learning. If you want to use money partners, you have to use an agent, unless the money partner will market the property with you only acting as a bird dog.”

Steven Butala:
Let me explain this.

Jill DeWit:
Okay.

Steven Butala:
This is a legal question.

Jill DeWit:
Oh.

Steven Butala:
And the question here is, do I need a real estate license? That’s really what they’re asking.

Jill DeWit:
Okay. I missed the whole preface to this.

Steven Butala:
The only reason that you need a real estate license… This is very important, if you don’t know about this. Jill and I have talked about this a lot over the years. The reason you need a real estate license is because you are representing somebody else in the purchase or sale or lease of real property. It doesn’t matter what kind. We don’t need licenses at all, because we represent ourselves. It gets a gray area when you take on a partner.

Steven Butala:
And so, here’s how you can completely and totally avoid any legal issue entirely. They are on the deed. So, if you’re a money partner you’re on the deed, and if you’re the person who brings the deal to the money partner… We call that a manager in our… You know. There’s the manager and the investor. We’re the investor, because we put out the money. You’re the manager, because you brought the property to us and you’re going to manage the deal. You’re going to actually buy it. You’re going to sell it. You’re going to deal with a title agent. If there is a real estate agent, you’re going to deal with them, and on and on and on. Great. We’re all partners, and we’re all owners.

Steven Butala:
There are times where I don’t think it’s appropriate for a manager, especially if they’re brand new and we don’t know if they’re any good or not… I shouldn’t say any good. We don’t know where they are in their land investing career, how educated they are yet… where Jill and I would theoretically just be the only ones on the deed, because we don’t want to go through-

Jill DeWit:
Undoing anything.

Steven Butala:
… undoing stuff.

Jill DeWit:
Right.

Steven Butala:
And have any type of confrontation with their manager. We want it to be positive. So, that’s where this person’s saying you have to use an agent to market the property, and then they would represent the investor. Look. If you have a side agreement, and I’m not… You know. You didn’t hear this from me… There’s a workaround on all this stuff, and only if it ever went really sideways would there be a problem. So, but there is a way to legally do it. This is how you do it. And this is the vast majority of the time, this is how we do it. Which I just wrapped one up yesterday, late yesterday, with two other members, and we’re all on the deed. Because we all know each other, we’ve all done deals with each other before. Everybody’s in the advanced Land Academy group. If something goes sideways, we’re going to work it out together. It won’t, because it’s an amazing deal. That’s the answer to the question.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you, sir.

Steven Butala:
Today’s topic, Jill Friday and her take on relationships. This is the meat of the show.

Jill DeWit:
I said yesterday it’s not dating 101, but there is a part of this that is dating 101. But I wanted to say this is all-encompassing about relationships. So, here’s the deal. This is why we’re talking about this. It came to my attention… I don’t know. I just… What’s so funny?

Steven Butala:
What came to your attention, princess?

Jill DeWit:
That’s hilarious. I don’t know why it just hit me in the face, seriously. Like in the last year, I took a step back and realized what was really going on, and what was really going on was I was getting more deals. I was really starting to pay attention to the deals I was getting. When I say me, I mean me personally, because of the relationships that I would create quickly with sellers and buyers. I’m like, “Huh.” You know what? And I think it’s probably over the time of Land Academy too, because now I’m talking to all kinds of people, and I thought this came easy to everybody, and I didn’t realize it doesn’t.

Steven Butala:
I’m shocked about that, too. Go ahead. I don’t mean to interrupt you.

Jill DeWit:
And I’m still, every month I’m getting deals that people have said, “I got three other offers. I like you. I pick you.” And I’m like, “They’re flat out telling me that.” And they will say, “Because you talk to me like a real person. You explain it. You didn’t over explain it. And you follow through. You’re getting it done. You said it was going to be fast and easy, and it is fast and easy.” You know, I know that. And I’m like, “Why isn’t everybody doing this?”

Jill DeWit:
So the point is, and people keep asking me for more help on this, so I’m going to really take a step back, and really talk about this and put some content together. I realize there’s kind of five things. I’ve kind of got it in five different sub, like books. I want to write a bunch of mini books and do a series, is what I’m working on. The one I’m going to do first is business, because these are business relationships, and how those should be handled. Which I’m good at. I have a pretty good track record there. Personal relationships, Steven’s going to decide.

Steven Butala:
What do you mean, I’m going to decide?

Jill DeWit:
How you’re going to tell me if I’m good at it.

Steven Butala:
You’re fantastic at it.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you. Then there’s relationships with your kids.

Steven Butala:
I’ll tell you why.

Jill DeWit:
Why?

Steven Butala:
Why you’re great at personal relationships, or why anybody… Jill genuinely, in her personal relationships-

Jill DeWit:
Thanks.

Steven Butala:
… wants people to be happy, and wants people to be… What’s the right word? Satisfied. Or she wants everyone in her life socially to feel rewarded, and not because… Like she’ll make us all sandwiches just because it makes us happy, and I guess it makes you happy, too.

Jill DeWit:
It does. That makes me happy.

Steven Butala:
So, I’ll tell you. This is not the only relationship I’ve ever been in, and all the other relationships, the interpersonal relationships I’ve ever had with a woman have not been this way.

Jill DeWit:
Thanks.

Steven Butala:
Here’s another thing about you that’s very unusual. You’re very comfortable, and you embrace your gender. You like being a woman.

Jill DeWit:
I do.

Steven Butala:
And the vast majority of women I’ve ever come across… And maybe this is my problem, not anybody else’s… don’t like their gender, and they’re trying to be masculine, or they’re trying to take on the world, or, “I am woman. Hear me roar.” And you’re exactly the opposite. You’re like, “This is who I am.”

Jill DeWit:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Steven Butala:
And you use it very effectively.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you.

Steven Butala:
And share it. I shouldn’t say use it. You share it effectively.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you. That’s so sweet. I appreciate that. Yeah, there’s business, there’s personal, there’s kids, there’s parents. Relationship with your parents, your family, which is different. And then employees. That’s another one, too. And that’s come up a lot recently, I think because in Land Academy we have a lot of members that are now, “Hey, I can afford to bring somebody on now. I have to bring somebody on now.”

Steven Butala:
Yeah, “We have no choice.”

Jill DeWit:
Now it’s getting bigger and growing, and you’re like, “Uh-oh. How do I hire? Who do I pick? What’s a good employee? How do I pay them? How do I train them? How do I reward them? How do I monitor them?” Whatever it is. That kind of a thing. So, there’s a lot there that I can help with as well.

Steven Butala:
That is more than one book. Now I see.

Jill DeWit:
That’s what I… Yeah. See? It’s five. I see it as-

Steven Butala:
They’re very different. Very, very different relationships.

Jill DeWit:
Mm-hmm (affirmative). Totally.

Steven Butala:
You know, you have a completely different relationship you have with your children than you do with your friends.

Jill DeWit:
Right.

Steven Butala:
Is friends in there?

Jill DeWit:
Well, I kind of put that in personal, but I could put friend. I could do personal, which is social, like all social.

Steven Butala:
I don’t know if it’s my age or what, but good friendships at this point in my life are more important to me now than they ever have been.

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
I used to just not care at all. And having a couple of good buddies that understand and are interested in the same stuff I am is a lot of fun. It makes your life better. I mean, that’s why you go into a relationship, you know? I’m going to quote Dr. Phil. I’m not a huge Dr. Phil fan, but I think he says some stuff that’s pretty-

Jill DeWit:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Steven Butala:
And he says it in a funny way. “When you go into a relationship with anyone, regardless of the type of relationship, you’ve got to ask yourself this question: What am I giving up? What am I going to give up in my life to be in this successful relationship?” And I think that always stuck with me, obviously, because what it-

Jill DeWit:
I don’t see it like that.

Steven Butala:
What it implies-

Jill DeWit:
That’s interesting.

Steven Butala:
… is you’re perfect on your own.

Jill DeWit:
Oh.

Steven Butala:
And that you don’t need it. But like I just said, I mean hopefully-

Jill DeWit:
Yeah, my life is better. I’m not giving anything up. My life is better with you.

Steven Butala:
Right. Oh, yeah. Me too.

Jill DeWit:
Okay.

Steven Butala:
But I enjoy making you happy, too. So theoretically, you’re… Yeah. You should net out a positive, not a negative with other people in your life.

Jill DeWit:
You know, the only thing I give up is bed square footage.

Steven Butala:
And there’s more than one bed in this world. There’s also more than one-

Jill DeWit:
That’s really the only thing I give up.

Steven Butala:
There’s more than one bedroom in this house, too.

Jill DeWit:
Thanks a lot. So, there’s that. But you know what I gain? Here’s what I gain. Body heat. Because if it’s cold, I am right up next to you.

Steven Butala:
I’m aware of that.

Jill DeWit:
Exactly. I have two examples of things I wanted to share about this topic. Number one, what started me on this whole relationship thing was me taking a step back and going, “Wow, I really am getting more deals than the next guy. Why am I getting more deals than the next guy?” Well, it’s because of the way I talk to these people. And what I do, I do it in sentences. So, that’s the stuff I’m going to start off with this business thing. I’m going to talk about in five sentences, these people are going to be your best friend.

Steven Butala:
Can you teach that?

Jill DeWit:
I can. Well, I’m going to try to. I’m going to share it.

Steven Butala:
Like can you really give it, like, “These are the five sentences.”

Jill DeWit:
Yeah. I really-

Steven Butala:
Wow, really?

Jill DeWit:
Well, and I have them all recorded. I have all the other stuff, too.

Steven Butala:
Oh, sure.

Jill DeWit:
I can really go back and see and dissect it, because I do. You know, I do it all the time, every day. You know?

Steven Butala:
Yeah, you could really-

Jill DeWit:
It’s so often that people just say, “Will you just take the property off of my hands?” They’re like, “Would you pay any price,” you know, kind of thing? I’m like, “Aw, shucks,” you know, kind of thing. They like me and they want to get this deal done kind of thing. So, the two examples are yeah, I am really getting more deals done. I know that now. I knew it, but now I can really concretely… I could sit down and put numbers together if I wanted to with percentages, and figure this out, and it’s pretty darn high.

Jill DeWit:
The other business example I wanted to share was what just happened to you and I, as a result of a relationship that I forged with a woman who did a mortgage for us. We just took on a large purchase, and-

Steven Butala:
It’s Jill’s dream house, is what it is.

Jill DeWit:
Yes, it is. So, this woman and I befriended each other.

Steven Butala:
I call it the Godfather house. If you’ve ever seen the first Godfather, that house in the first scene where the daughter is getting married? It’s like that.

Jill DeWit:
Okay. I have to go back and look at that.

Steven Butala:
I don’t think this kind of stuff is necessary, but I did sign my name on all the documents, because we’re buying it for $2 million less than it’s worth.

Jill DeWit:
Thank you. There we go.

Steven Butala:
That’s why I signed it.

Jill DeWit:
So yeah, the point is we already won. Exactly. We don’t buy anything unless we buy it right. It’s that way.

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill DeWit:
I just happened to also win emotionally on this one, so it’s good. So my point is, I forged this relationship with this woman. Well, what has happened since then is one of her BFFs is a VP at this really wonderful smaller-

Steven Butala:
It’s a private bank.

Jill DeWit:
Exactly. And they are befriending us, and starting to roll out the red carpet.

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill DeWit:
I’m seeing what’s going to unfold here. Not that I need more money available, but the beauty is, dream it up. She’s starting to roll out the red carpet, like, “I get you guys. I like you guys.” Trust? Check. That was number one.

Steven Butala:
It’s opening doors.

Jill DeWit:
And then financials.

Steven Butala:
It’s opening doors for us.

Jill DeWit:
I think relationship was first. Dead serious. Second was, “Are you guys really who you say you are? Can you really afford to be doing this stuff?”

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill DeWit:
You know, that’s just superficial. And then now that we have the trust in the relationship, and like, “Oh, yeah. You guys really are these people. I see what you got going on here,” now it’s like, “How can I help you?” They want to help us. That’s the thing, too. They really want to help us. They want to hook us up in all kinds of other ways.

Steven Butala:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Jill DeWit:
So, there’s so many things that can come out of this by creating these friendships. And they’re all sincere, by the way. I’m going to leave it on this. My number one underlying theme of everything? It’s not just knowing what to say and how to say them, and the tone and the cantor and the words. You have to be sincere. If you’re not, none of this is going to work.

Steven Butala:
I agree. People can see. That’s biology. You can see when someone’s lying or trying to cheat you. That’s just a million years of evolution, where you can feel it in your bones.

Jill DeWit:
Yup.

Steven Butala:
So, I have a couple questions.

Jill DeWit:
Sure.

Steven Butala:
Jill came into my office yesterday and she had this little smile on her face. This happens about three times a week now. “I got the XYZ property for $5,700.” And this property, I would like to keep it. It’s about 35, 40 miles south of here. The property’s worth at least $50,000, probably closer to $100,000. It’s $50,000 wholesale, for sure. We could sell it in five days for $50,000. She got it for $5,700. So because it’s so fresh, this is why I’m asking you. And I love that. I remember this. I don’t remember all these deals, but I’ve been to this property and that area, and I just love it.

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
What did you say to them? Is that what we offered?

Jill DeWit:
It was our offer price.

Steven Butala:
So you didn’t have to… I mean, they obviously-

Jill DeWit:
We just connected.

Steven Butala:
Really?

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
So share that with us, please.

Jill DeWit:
Well, it’s the wife inherited it from her parents, and it was the husband calling in. I even think he left a voicemail. Actually, I suppose what’s really funny is I didn’t even take the call the first time. That’s another huge thing. My voicemail is me. It’s cheery. “This is Jill. Leave me a message. I’ll get right back to you.” And not, you know, Google Voice weird operator or anything. So, I’m sure I was on another call. He called in. And then, because I quickly asked you, “Hey, before I even call this guy back, do you want it?” And you’re like, “Heck, yeah. Not only do I want it, if you can get it anywhere close to that price, it’s a run to the bank situation.” So I said, “Okay.”

Jill DeWit:
So I just called the guy, and I just had to have a few conversations with him. Not a few conversations. I pull up NeighborScoop. I see different names. So, all I have to do is quickly uncover what’s the story here.

Steven Butala:
This is a three and a half acre property. It’s zoned urban ranch, and it’s on a paved county road.

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
And all the utilities are at the road.

Jill DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
This is a-

Jill DeWit:
For $5,700.

Steven Butala:
We could retire there.

Jill DeWit:
Exactly.

Steven Butala:
I mean, it’s a great, gorgeous property. It’s right tucked in a little valley.

Jill DeWit:
Right. Yeah, and just-

Steven Butala:
Anyway, go ahead. See, I care about that. I don’t know about the people. Jill knows the people. I know the dirt and the money.

Jill DeWit:
You know, so I just call and ask, “How are you? By the way, your name is different from the name here. What’s the story?” And just by the way you talk and how you treat them. You could be an operator and go, “All right. First name, last name?” So, I’m sure some people would do that.

Steven Butala:
I’m sure they do, too.

Jill DeWit:
“APN? County? Size, please? What do you know about the property?” You could go into it like that, right? And you’re going to get the information out of them, but you’re not going to make friends. Versus, you know, just chilling out and having a conversation. Like, all right.

Jill DeWit:
He had left our reference number on there, so I went and looked it up, so I knew what I was calling back about. Like, “Hey, I’m returning your call about your property that you have out in Pinal County. It’s like three and a half acres. You know.” And he’s like, “Oh, yeah. This is… ” And then he’s like, “This is Jill? This is the Jill?” I’m like, “Yeah, this is Jill.” Because my name’s on the letter. They’re happy that it’s me. And it was just a quick conversation.

Jill DeWit:
I’m like, “Okay, so who’s Margaret and Tom?” “Okay, those were my former in laws. They both passed on.” And I could go, right away I could say, “Oh, problem.” Right? But I said, “Okay. Did you guys happen to do a probate?” And he’s like, “Yeah, actually we did.” So, just being positive about that. I’m sure that makes a difference. I didn’t say, “Red flag,” and walk away, and let him tried to explain it to me. I was all cheery and happy, because I was still thinking maybe we can figure this out anyway. I don’t want to kill the deal. I don’t want to kill my own deal. I want to bring them in.

Jill DeWit:
Here’s my only problem. This is so funny. So, that’s how… Did that answer your question?

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill DeWit:
Okay. The only problem that I have is sometimes I get them so on team Jill, I don’t want the property, and they’re throwing it at me. Like this-

Steven Butala:
Oh, yeah. We could sell that together.

Jill DeWit:
… sweet old man… I know.

Steven Butala:
I’ll tell you real quick whether or not to even start down the path.

Jill DeWit:
No, it’s nothing wrong with that. It’s nothing you did, or nothing. It’s just that they’re just like, “I like you. You’re sure there’s not… There’s not any prize?” I’m like, “You’re so sweet.”

Steven Butala:
That’s a good problem to have.

Jill DeWit:
I’m like, “Darn. I’m sorry. I really am.” But I have to tell people, “Look. Okay, the next guy that comes along, if they’re going to pay anything north of X, promise me you’re going to take it?” And they’re like, “Okay, I will.” And they thank me for that. It’s so cute. And then the people that don’t want to sell ever, I said, “Okay. Promise me this. You will update that deed and get it in your kids’ names or a trust name right away, so your kids can do something with it like you want.” And they say, “Okay, thank you.” I treat them how I want to be treated, or how I want my parents to be treated, and my grandparents to be treated. With respect and help.

Steven Butala:
It’s just that it’s still sticking in my mind… I’m sure you have it all worked out, but this is something that I think, as a sort of an instructor… That’s just the role I’ve given myself… that would be very hard to teach, because it’s so… You can’t deconstruct it and say… You can’t make a checklist on how to be cool on the phone. Or can you?

Jill DeWit:
I think you can. I’m going to do my best.

Steven Butala:
I’m taking your class, because I need serious help in this.

Jill DeWit:
Well, you have me. It’s okay. All good. Happy you could join us today. Monday through Friday, you can find us right here on the Land Academy Show.

Steven Butala:
Join us next week for another interesting episode. You are not alone in your real estate ambition.

Jill DeWit:
I didn’t realize how long I was talking on that topic. Sorry.

Steven Butala:
I think it’s great, because that’s what this is for.

Jill DeWit:
Okay. Okay, good. Hopefully that helps a lot of you. Thank you for tuning in, by the way, and we hope you find our content valuable, and we really do appreciate your support. If you haven’t already, please zip on over to our YouTube channel, hit the subscribe button, and please comment on the episodes that you love. We’re Steve and Jill.

Steven Butala:
We’re Steve and Jill. Information…

Jill DeWit:
And inspiration…

Steven Butala:
To buy undervalued property.

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