Working with Your Spouse in Your Land Business (LA 1779)

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Working with Your Spouse in Your Land Business (LA 1779)

Working with Your Spouse in Your Land Business (LA 1779)

Transcript:

Steven Butala:
Steve and Jill here.

Jill K DeWit:
Hi.

Steven Butala:
Welcome to the Land Academy Show, entertaining land investment talk. I’m Steven Jack Butala.

Jill K DeWit:
And I’m Jill DeWit, broadcasting from the Valley of the Sun.

Steven Butala:
Today Jill and I talk about working with your spouse in your land business, or really at all.

Jill K DeWit:
Had I known how much fun and how easy that would be, I would’ve done it… Just kidding.

Steven Butala:
Here’s good news. If you can work with your spouse, then you can get through anything-

Jill K DeWit:
That’s very free true.

Steven Butala:
… with your spouse.

Jill K DeWit:
Oh, yeah. That’s true. You’re golden.

Steven Butala:
Before I get into it, let’s take a question posted by one of our members on the landinvestors.com online community. It’s free.
And I would like you to know we have a full blown, operational, commercial printing company called offers2owners.com. It’s the same company that Jill and I used to send out our offers. We just made it available to everybody because we were sick and tired of dealing with commercial printing companies that didn’t really understand our business.
Go to offers2owners.com. We send out 8 or 900,000 offers a month, so…

Jill K DeWit:
As a group, it’s awesome.

Steven Butala:
We know by now-

Jill K DeWit:
We got this.

Steven Butala:
We know what we’re doing.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah. It’s like everything.

Steven Butala:
Wasn’t that way always.

Jill K DeWit:
No. Jay wrote, “Hey everyone, I’ve been going through the education, and I really like infill lots, specifically waterfront properties. I have a few ideas in my home state, New York, but I’m exploring other markets to the south like Florida and North Carolina. Is there anyone here I can talk to about waterfront properties? As I build my criteria, I believe less is more. I like to do three to five deals a month at about, net 80 to $100,000 per deal. Is this possible with waterfront properties?”
And I see one of our members here, already responded and he has this to say. Steven wrote, “I’ve been at this for a year and I’ve made most of my money from infill lots. I targeted lots that have a mobile on them or have had one in the past. If you see a lot of new construction on Zillow, lots will move fast. Set-”

Steven Butala:
That’s great. I love this.

Jill K DeWit:
… the filters on Zillow to show houses that were built 2020 to now.” This is a good little tip. You’re right.
“And then Skiptrace those builders.” This is brilliant.
“They will be your infill buyers.” And they’ll tell you all the nuances of what they’re looking for.

Steven Butala:
Jay, I can tell you right now.

Jill K DeWit:
That’s great.

Steven Butala:
We’ve had a lot of members come and go. We maintain around 500 members. That’s where Jill’s comfortable. And I totally agree. And I can tell you with confidence that you are going to do great. You’ve thought this through, you have a target acquisition criteria, you already said, “I want to make about 2 to $300,000 a month.” All very accomplishable.
And the first step to doing all that stuff is exactly what you’re doing, writing it down, understanding it for yourself, and then asking this community if it’s realistic and, “How do I go about doing that?” And that was just one person’s comment there, me included, there are a lot of comments and discord, basically reiterating what I just said.

Jill K DeWit:
Yep.

Steven Butala:
Today’s topic, working with your spouse, in your land business. This is why you’re listening. I can-

Jill K DeWit:
Here’s what I think is cool, if you don’t mind me…

Steven Butala:
Sure.

Jill K DeWit:
… jumping in first?
I’m sure because of you and I, we clearly attract two different things. Well more than two, but for today’s show, I’m talking about two that are so interesting that I love. We attract other couples. Some start out doing this together. Some like, “Hey, I want to pull my spouse in. That’s why I’m here”.
And then B, women. It’s so cool. We have a lot of women in our group and in case you weren’t sure, yes, I am bringing back Land Academy, Ladies. It’s coming back. So it’d be good.
I took a little hiatus and everybody said, “We miss you, we miss it.” I’m like, “Okay.” Because all the ladies who would show up for Land Academy, Ladies, are killing it.

Steven Butala:
Here’s a few questions you got to ask yourself. And then once you ask yourself these questions, then sit down with your spouse and ask them these questions.
Number one, do we have the same goals? This is such an important question. Jill and I never sat down and we weren’t smart enough to do this back in the day. We just did it for some reason.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
Honestly, we didn’t want to work at our jobs. That’s what this was really about, our regular jobs. So anything was better than that. And so that’s how we started working together.
But if I had to go back and do it, I would’ve said, “Look, what do you want out of life?” And I would’ve found out pretty quickly that she wants and wanted the same thing I do. Okay. Next question is-

Jill K DeWit:
Check.

Steven Butala:
Right. Check. The vast majority of people are, you’re going to find out pretty quickly. In fact, you should do this before the second date, quite honestly.

Jill K DeWit:
For many of you, it’s a little too late.

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill K DeWit:
You’re now realizing they wanted six kids and you really wanted one.

Steven Butala:
Yep. Or you wanted to live in the woods and she wanted to live in an apartment somewhere.

Jill K DeWit:
Exactly.

Steven Butala:
It’s happening, big city.

Jill K DeWit:
In a high-rise.

Steven Butala:
Yeah.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah.

Steven Butala:
So, if in fact you’re lucky enough to want the same thing, the second question is, “All right, how would you go about getting that if I wasn’t around?” And if he, or she says…

Jill K DeWit:
“I’d hitch myself to a man.”

Steven Butala:
Yeah. You don’t want a woman that’s going to hitch himself to the man. It makes my head hurt.

Jill K DeWit:
I know. I just had to say that. You know they’re out there. Oh.

Steven Butala:
Or she might say, or he might say, “Yeah, I only married you for the money, and I actually planned to exit out of this in about 18 months.” You just don’t-

Jill K DeWit:
“I married you because your dad’s loaded.”

Steven Butala:
Yeah. “You’re my exit.”

Jill K DeWit:
Exactly. “They’re going to die eventually then we’re set.” Could you imagine? I got to back up.

Steven Butala:
“You’re my exit.” That’s a show.

Jill K DeWit:
And on date number one, “I don’t really care about you. Please tell me about your family and what they have to offer, and how many siblings do you have? Like-”

Steven Butala:
I have a lot.

Jill K DeWit:
“… how much is this going to be divided up?”

Steven Butala:
If your spouse spends more than a half hour, every day at the gym and they just love themselves and love how they look, run the other way.

Jill K DeWit:
Well, hold on a moment. I spend 45 minutes, three to four days a [inaudible 00:06:38] 45.

Steven Butala:
I know you do.

Jill K DeWit:
Okay. Am I okay?

Steven Butala:
That’s fantastic.

Jill K DeWit:
Okay, good.

Steven Butala:
Yeah. Please. Don’t stop doing that. But you don’t pat yourself on the back 23 hours a day because you did that.

Jill K DeWit:
And I don’t put makeup on before I go, by the way. I don’t agree with that either.

Steven Butala:
Ask your spouse, this is question number two, “How do you want to get there?” And they should, within reason, answer the question the same way that you would answer it. Like, “Yeah, I’m going to buy and sell a bunch of land.” Or “I want to be an entrepreneur.” Or if they say, “Oh, I’m happy working at the job that I’m working for the rest of my life,” and if you’re happy with that too, then check number two. If you even get to question number two, you’re in the total minority. And if you check the box for number two, you’re probably in the-

Jill K DeWit:
Now you’re in the top 10%.

Steven Butala:
… second percentile, or maybe five. Because I’ll tell you why. Jill and I honestly probably can’t check box number two. We both want and wanted to get to the same place. And we did it. How we get there.

Jill K DeWit:
Was very different.

Steven Butala:
Is completely and totally different. And it’s ironically, one of the reasons that we do pretty well. She is all about people. I’m all about money and processes and data. And for some reason it’s worked out. It was very… this is true time. It was very difficult to work with Jill in the beginning.

Jill K DeWit:
Because I’m a seven and you’re an eight too. You want to get there. I want to have fun along the way. You’re like “Screw the fun. We’ll have fun when we’re done.” I’m like, “Well hold on a moment. How long is it going to take?”

Steven Butala:
Well, if we do everything that I say, it’s going to take a half hour.

Jill K DeWit:
Oops. See, here comes the eight.

Steven Butala:
This is all very truthful. We’re going to lose listeners.

Jill K DeWit:
[crosstalk 00:08:32] if you haven’t done this.

Steven Butala:
We didn’t lose listeners yesterday. We’re going to lose a bunch more today.

Jill K DeWit:
Great.

Steven Butala:
I have been the boss since I was probably 24.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah. And I love it.

Steven Butala:
Well, I’m not the boss now. I’m not. Jill and I, there’s stuff that she manages and stuff that I manage. But in no way am I the boss. We might have titles that may suggest that, but that’s just not what’s going to happen. So if you have the type of person that has always been the boss and you’re like, “Hey, sit over here, do this. And let me know when it’s done.” That’s not going to fly. They might say it’s okay for a while. But then their heads are going to explode. And this is not gender specific or age specific or anything. It’s just, that’s not what… The nature of being in a long term social relationship is sharing. The nature of work is bossing people around.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah. Yeah, I started to make some notes-

Steven Butala:
Because your job as a leader, in my opinion, is to create the resources and provide resources to the people that work for you, to realize your goals. In our case, it’s buying and selling land. And so you can’t do that with your spouse. You can’t say “Here’s all of our goals. This is what I want you to do. And let me know when it’s done and we’ll meet every Tuesday to see how you’re doing.” That’ll last 10 seconds.

Jill K DeWit:
Here’s what I’d like to add. I’m starting to make some notes about, “Okay, what’s positive about working with your spouse?” Well, we have the same schedule, for the most part. That’s kind of nice. We understand what’s going on in each other’s worlds. That’s kind of cool. We drive our friends, little nuts about that, but it’s kind of cool for us not to explain anything, what’s going on.
And what’s bad about it? You’re working with your spouse. Here’s what I have learned, and I have talked to people about, to make this work for us, is you have to set boundaries. You have to be really clear about when work starts, when work ends, where you can talk about work, not the bathroom. We do that often. And we have to catch ourselves and stop that. Not in the bar, when the other person’s like, “I just settled in I’m on my second drink. Can we please stop?”

Steven Butala:
“I just started to like myself again. And you’re going to talk about staffing?”

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah. You can’t do that. You have to really set some boundaries. “We’re going to have fun today. We’re not going to think about work. We’re going to a movie. We’re going to do this. We’re going to go look at cars. We’re going to have fun. Let’s not do this.”

Steven Butala:
This is good advice, Jill.

Jill K DeWit:
Thank you. Second thing is you-

Steven Butala:
It’s too bad we don’t follow it.

Jill K DeWit:
Yeah, I know. Do, as I say, not as I do. You know what it is? It’s a work in progress. But if you remember these things and you come back to it, you can do this. The number two thing is you’ve got to divide up responsibilities and tasks. It’s like, “I am not the money person in this company.” And these companies, I should say. He’s the money person, whether it’s doing the end of year stuff, whether it’s forecasting things, looking at new companies and new revenue streams and how it’s going to play out. It’s all him. I never question it. It’s not my thing. And I’m happy in that role. It’s not me.
And then on the flip side, like sales, he doesn’t talk to me at all. He doesn’t care what I buy it for, what I sell it for. He knows I have a threshold. That my threshold is actually higher than his threshold. So it’s really easy, he doesn’t question it. We divide up things like that. [crosstalk 00:12:31]

Steven Butala:
What Jill is really saying-

Jill K DeWit:
Figure out what you’re good at.

Steven Butala:
… Is you really need to trust the other person.

Jill K DeWit:
Well, that’s number three.

Steven Butala:
And trust that the… oh, okay. Sure, go ahead.

Jill K DeWit:
That’s number three. I just going to get to that. So you have your boundaries, you divide up the roles, what you’re going to work on what I’m going to work on. And then the number three and final thing is stay the heck out of their lane. That’s [crosstalk 00:12:53].

Steven Butala:
Man, that’s for sure.

Jill K DeWit:
You’ve got to trust. You know, they’re going to do the right thing. Not to throw you under the bus, but there were a couple things that took you a long time, like years.

Steven Butala:
No, that’s fine.

Jill K DeWit:
So don’t worry if this is you, it took him years to trust me on some things, where he finally goes, “You know what? I guess I don’t need to look over your shoulder anymore-” I’m like, “You think?” “… because every time I do you impress me. You’re doing numbers that I wouldn’t have done, and deals I don’t think I had the stomach to do. Or I wouldn’t walk in and saying, this is how we’re going to buy it. And this is what I’m selling it for. And look at you make it happen.”
That’s the stay out of each other’s lane. And even if they do it wrong, that’s part of the trust you just said, so flipping what, let them fix it. Let them do it. Because you cannot… Because if you went around behind them… I’m the woman, so I have to stay out of mom mode, even. If I see something coming, and you moms know what I’m talking about. I hate our instinct sometimes. Because it’s so flipping good.

Steven Butala:
I want to hear this.

Jill K DeWit:
I see the car accident coming, in some aspect of something in our business, I can’t do that. I can’t walk around… because you don’t want to be that guy. You can’t say… You just have to let it unfold and let them fix it. It’s their line of the business. Because if you do, you’re doing their work and then yours. And then what’s the point?

Steven Butala:
Boy, you said it.

Jill K DeWit:
And then nobody’s happy. You’re like, “Now I’m doing all your work.” And then they’re saying, not that we’ve had this argument, “Well then I’ll be over here.”

Steven Butala:
Sometimes the only way people learn is by getting in a car accident. And I’m that way. I have to get smacked in the head to really understand and learn things. I can’t read a book and then say, “Oh, okay, now I understand.” I have to go do it, fail at it like three or four times, figure out the right way to do it, and then be successful. That’s very hard for a lot of moms to understand.

Jill K DeWit:
Correct.

Steven Butala:
This was good, Jill.

Jill K DeWit:
Thank you very much.

Steven Butala:
You just pulled that out.

Jill K DeWit:
I did. Well, this is-

Steven Butala:
Oh you have some experience at this.

Jill K DeWit:
Apparently I do. I do.

Steven Butala:
In the bitter end, I don’t recommend that you work with your spouse.

Jill K DeWit:
It’s hard.

Steven Butala:
I really think you got to sit down and find out if you’re on the same page. Because it’s completely a different skill set than it is with having a social relationship.

Jill K DeWit:
Okay. I’m going to give them my one last comment, which is a truth time comment that, I know like a lot of things in Land Academy we kind of make it look easy. It’s not. It’s really hard. So I’ll leave it at that.

Steven Butala:
Here’s a few just experience based tips. Don’t work in the same building that your spouse works in. Only speak with your spouse or your business partner when it’s in a schedule. And so if Jill and I get together outside of doing these shows and stuff-

Jill K DeWit:
We have meetings.

Steven Butala:
… we have meetings.

Jill K DeWit:
Scheduled meetings.

Steven Butala:
And that’s it. I don’t ever, anymore… We don’t walk into each other’s office anymore unless there’s something serious going on, which is almost never. You can communicate about land transactions through Airtable-

Jill K DeWit:
Email, Airtable.

Steven Butala:
… all day. And Teams, if you have Microsoft, and all of that. It really is kind of, like everything else, you have to train and retrain yourself and form some habits that are healthy and that work for everybody.

Jill K DeWit:
That’s really good. I could go on and on and on about this. Happy you could join us today. Five days a week, you can find us here on the Land Academy show.

Steven Butala:
Tomorrow, the episode on the Land Academy show is called… Well, we interview Land Academy member Dan Smart, and he tells us all about what’s happening in the Northwestern part of the country. You are not alone in your real estate ambition. That went better than I thought

Jill K DeWit:
I could go on and on about it. It’s so true, the things that I’ve learned over the years. I was thinking one tip, like you saw it about scheduled meetings, I learned, what I used to do with you in the beginning, because you can’t run into somebody’s office 16 times a day and interrupt them. So I’d write them down. I seriously would write down all the different things that I need to run by him. And then I would save it up for the end of the day. Like, “Can we have a recap for today? I need to find out these things for tomorrow.” And then by the way, by the time you do that, your 16 things is now four, because you figured them out, as you finish out your day like, “Oh I didn’t need to interrupt for that.” And then otherwise too, if they’re doing that to you’re not going to get anything done.

Steven Butala:
Some people think that more communication is always better. I just don’t think that’s the case.

Jill K DeWit:
The right communication is better, at the right time, and thought through. I agree. Thank you for tuning in. By the way, just so you know, Jack and I are very aware, not everyone has a hundred grand or so lying around to fund some deals, or more. We just had some people what fund a 3 million, buy for 3, sell for 9 million deal, within Land Academy. So you know what? You can scroll the thing. I’m going to leave it at that. What do you need to do? Go to landfunding.com or send a note to support landacademy.com. If you want to find more about getting some deals funded.

Steven Butala:
Or if you’re a member, just go to discord, post your deal in there, in the “Would you do this deal?” Section, and it’ll get funded if it’s a good deal.

Jill K DeWit:
Exactly.

Both:
We are Jack and Jill.

Steven Butala:
Information-

Jill K DeWit:
… and inspiration-

Steven Butala:
… to buy undervalued property.

Jill K DeWit:
Or just send them to me because I want those deals.

If you enjoyed the podcast, please review it in Apple Podcasts . Reviews are incredibly important for rankings on Apple Podcasts. My staff and I read each and every one.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to email me directly at steven@BuWit.com.

The BuWit Family of Companies include:

https://BuWit.com

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https://landacademy.com

https://landpin.com

https://parcelfact.com

https://countywise.com

https://deedperfect.com

https://ownersdata.com

https://houseacademy.com

I would like to think it’s entertaining and informative and in the end profitable.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts.

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No need to hire staff - we did it for you.

Land Academy PRO is the brainchild of founders Steven Jack Butala and Jill DeWit. Designed at the request of Land Academy members who are ready for a higher level, we’re excited to continue to provide the tools and support needed by professional investors.

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If you’re making this a business, Land Academy PRO takes the work off of your plate so you can focus on the things that matter – like running your business.

Green

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Silver

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Platinum

$23,650

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Black

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6,000 mailers 9,000 mailers 12,000 mailers 15,000 mailers 18,000 mailers
PatLive introduction at no cost We will help you establish your first script and get PatLive set up on your behalf to answer your phones.
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Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
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Subtotal: $8,550 value $8,550 value $9,550 value $12,050 value $12,050 value
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Green

$10,060

per Month

Concierge Data+ (with data) Included mailers each month (data + concierge + mailer + postage). Our team will do your data for it and get it out the door.
6,000 mailers
PatLive introduction at no cost We will help you establish your first script and get PatLive set up on your behalf to answer your phones.
$500 value
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$7,500 value
AirTable Ready-for-you CRM managed by your personal Land Academy Pro Transaction Coordinator
$100 value
Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
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Regular Office Hours Regular office hours with Jack and Jill + our staff. Private for LA Pro Members Only. (Think Career Path Office Hours)
$2,500 value
ParcelFact ParcelFact is included in your LA Pro membership with unlimited pulls.
$150 value
FREE Career Path Access
$23,000 value
Land Academy No more separate charges - Land Academy is included with LA Pro Membership. This includes all education, tools, support, and future releases.
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Subtotal: $8,550 value
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9,000 mailers
PatLive introduction at no cost We will help you establish your first script and get PatLive set up on your behalf to answer your phones.
$500 value
Transaction Coordinator Use of our personal Transaction Coordinator team to manage your deals. Trained and ready to go!
$7,500 value
AirTable Ready-for-you CRM managed by your personal Land Academy Pro Transaction Coordinator
$100 value
Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
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Regular Office Hours Regular office hours with Jack and Jill + our staff. Private for LA Pro Members Only. (Think Career Path Office Hours)
$2,500 value
ParcelFact ParcelFact is included in your LA Pro membership with unlimited pulls.
$150 value
FREE Career Path Access
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$300 value
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$500 value
Transaction Coordinator Use of our personal Transaction Coordinator team to manage your deals. Trained and ready to go!
$7,500 value
AirTable Ready-for-you CRM managed by your personal Land Academy Pro Transaction Coordinator
$100 value
Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
$1,000 value
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$2,500 value
ParcelFact ParcelFact is included in your LA Pro membership with unlimited pulls.
$150 value
FREE Career Path Access
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PatLive introduction at no cost We will help you establish your first script and get PatLive set up on your behalf to answer your phones.
$500 value
Transaction Coordinator Use of our personal Transaction Coordinator team to manage your deals. Trained and ready to go!
$7,500 value
AirTable Ready-for-you CRM managed by your personal Land Academy Pro Transaction Coordinator
$100 value
Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
$1,000 value
Regular Office Hours Regular office hours with Jack and Jill + our staff. Private for LA Pro Members Only. (Think Career Path Office Hours)
$2,500 value
ParcelFact ParcelFact is included in your LA Pro membership with unlimited pulls.
$150 value
FREE Career Path Access
$23,000 value
Land Academy No more separate charges - Land Academy is included with LA Pro Membership. This includes all education, tools, support, and future releases.
$300 value
Subtotal: $12,050 value
Mail Value: $18,750 value
Total Value: $53,800
Apply Now

Black

$28,180

per Month

Concierge Data+ (with data) Included mailers each month (data + concierge + mailer + postage). Our team will do your data for it and get it out the door.
18,000 mailers
PatLive introduction at no cost We will help you establish your first script and get PatLive set up on your behalf to answer your phones.
$500 value
Transaction Coordinator Use of our personal Transaction Coordinator team to manage your deals. Trained and ready to go!
$7,500 value
AirTable Ready-for-you CRM managed by your personal Land Academy Pro Transaction Coordinator
$100 value
Personal Consulting 1 on 1 personal consulting with our Transaction Coordinator each week.
$1,000 value
Regular Office Hours Regular office hours with Jack and Jill + our staff. Private for LA Pro Members Only. (Think Career Path Office Hours)
$2,500 value
ParcelFact ParcelFact is included in your LA Pro membership with unlimited pulls.
$150 value
FREE Career Path Access
$23,000 value
Land Academy No more separate charges - Land Academy is included with LA Pro Membership. This includes all education, tools, support, and future releases.
$300 value
Subtotal: $12,050 value
Mail Value: $22,500 value
Total Value: $57,550
Apply Now

Disclaimer: *We have a monthly “use it or lose it” policy with mail and data – Land Academy PRO is designed to keep you on-track and consistent.

To cancel, all packages require a 30 day notice to move you back down to regular Land Academy membership.

Office Hours Schedule

Scheduling a Career Path interview call is currently on hold and will resume closer to Fall 2024 as we approach Career Path 10.

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